One of our missions at JJMF is to provide you with great resources that are not only educational but help you and your family find joy and inspiration. Enjoy this recap of our favorite books shared in 2022.

 

• Bird By Bird by Anne Lamott

While reading this book, I felt like a student in one of Lamott’s classes on writing, and it is laugh-out-loud funny. Yes, this book is about writing, but it’s also a guide to living a fulfilling life. Not because of what the end result will be, but because of how the act of pursuing your dream or your art makes you feel most alive. This is the book that gave me the courage to blog regularly about June. I think you will like it whether you are looking to write about your story or if you just want a good book to read about life that will make you laugh. My favorite quote is at the end, where Lamott states:

…[T]o have written your version is an honorable thing to have done. Against all odds, you have put it down on paper, so that it won’t be lost. And who knows? Maybe what you’ve written will help others, will be a small part of the solution. You don’t even have to know how or in what way, but if you are writing the clearest, truest words you can find and doing the best you can to understand and communicate, this will shine on paper like its own little lighthouse. Lighthouses don’t go running all over an island looking for boats to save; they just stand there shining.”

 

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• The Year of Magical Thinking by Joan Didion

Betrayal is something I’ve felt so much over the years. I felt it when we moved from the home that June lived in with us and where she subsequently died. I feel it every time a stranger asks me how many kids I have and I only say two so as to not get into the depths of our tragedy. I feel it every year we send a Christmas card and she isn’t included in some way. And then, I feel it at the thought of contemplating changing the photo on my Lock Screen.

In this book, Didion gives an account of the year following the death of her husband while also caring for their daughter who is suffering from a severe illness. This passage really popped out at me —

“I know why we try to keep the dead alive: we try to keep them alive in order to keep them with us. I also know that if we are to live ourselves there comes a point at which we must relinquish the dead, let them go, keep them dead. Let them become the photograph on the table.”

I think Didion was on to something. June will always be a part of me, but she isn’t the center of my life anymore. Everything I know about June tells me that’s okay. I think our loved ones who have died want us to be fully alive for the time we have left here. Like a mother gently nudging her child off as she embarks on a new chapter telling her she’s okay. We turn back for reassurance, unsure if we can do it. “Go on,” I imagine June saying encouragingly. “I’ll be right here waiting for you.”

 

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• Signs: The Secret Language of the Universe by Laura Lynne Jackson

I do not believe in coincidences, especially when it comes to June. Since she died, I’ve had so many signs from her. Just to name a few: the birds chirping loudly outside my window shortly after she took her last breath, the pink sunset with an angel-shaped opening floating by my house, the ladybug that crawled up my arm on the first day of June, and so many more. At the same time, it’s easy to dismiss these messages I receive from her. There is probably some scientific explanation of why these examples I gave happened at just the right moment.

I’ve learned that even though I may be able to explain away the signs, I’d rather believe in the mystical forces of it all. I want to believe these are June’s ways of communicating with me. If you are like me and want to read more about it, I think you will like Signs by Laura Lynne Jackson. Her book is a comforting introduction to how we can all unlock our ability to ask for and receive signs from our loved ones who have passed away.

 

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• Ten Little Ladybugs by Melanie Gerth and Illustrated by Laura Huliska-Beith

June’s vision therapist gave this book to us — you can even see the braille on the cover. It’s a cute sensory book where ten ladybugs disappear one by one with each page turn. June and her brothers loved it!

 

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• Anxiety Rx by Russell Kennedy, MD

Anxiety is something I have been working on for a long time, especially after June’s medical journey. For nearly four years while June was alive, I was in a constant state of fight-flight-freeze mode with some feeling of alarm always in the background of our lives. Following June’s death, I’ve noticed worry and fear set in during many “typical” parenting situations where the thought of something terrible happening to George and Peter feels extremely likely to me even when I logically know the risk is relatively small. Lately, I’ve been working on dealing with this, and I have found Dr. Kennedy’s book completely eye-opening when it comes to coping with anxiety in my day-to-day life.

In the book, Dr. Kennedy discusses his own experience with anxiety and alarm and defines the difference between the two and how it’s helpful to think of them separately. He outlines what has helped him find relief as he takes you through ways to become aware of what is going on in your mind, how to feel your way through the sensations in your body when anxious thoughts arise, and then how to build compassion and connection with yourself, which he believes heals the anxiety/alarm cycle.

This is the first book I’ve come across on coping with anxiety that focuses less on thinking your way through it and more on feeling your way out of it. I’ve come to realize my anxiety lessons as I lean into the uncomfortable feelings rather than trying to analyze or distract myself from them. It is a simple solution, but still incredibly hard! I hope that through this book, some of you may find relief in managing your anxiety during difficult times.

 

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• The Carrot Seed by Ruth Krauss

The Carrot Seed is a triumphant story about a boy who waters his carrot seed day after day, even though others tell him that nothing will come up. When June was alive, we provided around the clock care, as I know so many of you do for your children. Day after day, we kept sprinkling June with loving care, hoping and praying for her growth or even small improvements in her health, even though we knew nothing was certain. But along the way, something unexpected grew, too. Believing in growth and working hard to care for June enabled us to grow stronger ourselves.

Featured in our Month of June Care Packages, The Carrot Seed reminds us how important it is to keep believing, because sometimes you might not see progress in the way you want or expect, but there is still important growth happening underneath the surface.

Fun fact — The Carrot Seed was first published in 1945 and has never gone out of print. It is a timeless story for readers of all ages! More favorites from Ruth Krauss include Charlotte and The White Horse, The Happy Egg, and A Very Special House.

 

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• One Day in December by Josie Silver

A good rec from Reese’s Book Club, One Day in December is a love story about a woman, Lauri, who has a ‘love at first sight’ moment with a man outside her bus window at a bus stop. Before he can get on the bus, it drives off, sending her on a year-long search for her missed love connection. She never finds him until he shows up at a party with her best friend, as her date. The book follows the 3 characters over a decade and is a heartwarming story about love, friendship, fate and transformation.

 

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• Baby’s Very First Touchy-Feely Book by Stella Baggott

Furry penguins, squashy boots and lumpy crocodiles, oh my! This book was given to June by her vision therapist. The simple images, contrasting colors, and textures she could feel were engaging without the sensory overload — perfect for our June. Be sure to check out Seedlings Braille Books! They have so many great braille picture books for young children and we love their mission to increase opportunity for literacy and education by providing high-quality, free, and low-cost braille books.

 

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• The Body Keeps The Score by Bessel van der Kolk, M.D.

This is a difficult book for me to summarize because it is packed with so much insightful information. My copy is entirely covered in underlining and highlighting, and each chapter could probably have its own recap. Similar to Anxiety Rx, it has transformed how I view anxiety and trauma and the path to recovery. I used to think that if I pushed the trauma away it would have less control over me. Now I realize that avoidance was making it difficult to move past while taking up all of my energy and becoming an overwhelming part of my daily life.

An intense read, the book includes a wealth of information, research, and case studies about different types of trauma and how trauma impacts our brains, in turn controlling our bodies. Dr. van der Kolk then outlines various treatment methods to help heal the body and the mind. There is an entire chapter on eye movement desensitization and reprocessing (EMDR) which I had heard of before but thought it was medical quackery until I read his chapter on it.

“After trauma, the world is experienced with a different nervous system,” van der Kolk writes. I couldn’t agree more. Twenty-year-old me would be completely shocked by some of the things I fear and the situations I avoid now, particularly when it comes to parenting George and Peter. Sometimes the fear of losing them too is so overwhelming and can seem so real it is hard to breathe or even function. This book has helped me face the trauma I experience as June’s mom. I’m still a major work in progress, but I can already sense some shifts in how my body responds to anxiety-provoking situations.

 

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• The Boy, the Mole, the Fox and the Horse by Charlie Mackesy

On a shared adventure, this foursome discovers life lessons on vulnerability, bravery, kindness, wisdom, friendship, love and hope. A gem of a book for all ages! Over 7 million readers across the globe have found joy and comfort in this magical tale!

 

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• Raising a Rare Girl by Heather Lanier

A beautiful memoir about acceptance and love, the book provides an eye-opening inside look at the experience of raising a child with a medically complex condition. The honesty shared by the author gives parents of neuro-typical children valuable perspective and understanding while parents of medically complex children will find relatable shared experiences.

 

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• Be Kind to Yourself by Megan Logan, MSW, LCSW

This 52-week workbook from Megan Logan–self-love guru, therapist and best-selling author of the Self-Love Workbook for Women–can be started at any time of the year and follows the seasonal rhythm of life. Some of our favorite journal prompts touch on giving yourself permission to rest, letting go of fear, embracing imperfection and reconnecting to your confidence. Megan’s approach and thoughtful insights will help you recharge, reflect, relax and connect with your soul.

Explore more on self-love. Check out JJMF’s Navigating Neurological Conditions webinar featuring Genny’s interview with Megan.

 

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